It’s near the end of the year, which means it’s tithing settlement time in Mormon world. All of us get to meet with our assigned Bishop and tell him how we did on our tithing donations during the year. I haven’t pulled the trigger on making the appointment yet.
I have always been a little obsessed with paying the perfect amount of tithing each year. I even have a spreadsheet that I use to track it all. For the first time in my life, I’m questioning whether I should keep paying it.
My bishop has no idea that I am gay. The longest conversations I’ve ever had with him were my previous tithing settlements that lasted five minutes at most. I always said things were fine, made a little small talk, and told him I pay a full tithing.
The money is sitting in my checking account, so all I need to do is write the check, take it to church, do my normal tithing settlement routine, and then float along for another year. The problem is that I don’t want to do that. I want to figure out where I stand with the church. I have a good idea how they are going to feel about me once I reveal a few things about my life over the past few years. I may have been a perfect tithe payer, but I wasn’t a perfect Mormon.
I have no idea what is going to happen when I walk in there and say that I only paid part of my tithing, but maybe it is time that I find out.