Excluding the various bishops with whom I discussed my “same-sex attraction” over the years, I’ve never come out to anyone in a casual, non-religious setting. I’m finally ready to come out, although I am really resenting the fact that I actually have to announce my sexual orientation. I’m sitting around making lists of friends and family and putting them in order of who I trust the most, or who will judge me the least. None of my married family members or friends had to do this, but apparently I do.
Some family issues finally convinced me to see a therapist and I’m really happy I did. At my first appointment he asked me about my dating life and I hesitated for a second and then said that I was gay and I had no dating life. His first response was “well, do you want one?”. I felt like I was floating on a cloud as I left his office. I can actually have a life. I don’t have to be alone forever. I had no idea how it was going to happen, but I finally felt like I had someone in my corner. Someone to cheer me on and not judge me.
That was fine for a few weeks, but I really needed to come out to someone that I didn’t have to pay to not judge me. I wanted to come out to someone that knew me before this new chapter in my life. I chose one friend and one family member and just ripped the band aid off. I had a feeling these would be safe landing spots for me, and luckily I was correct. I trust that they will still talk to me after my “confession”. I trust that we can have a better, more evolved relationship that what we had before. I trust that they will let me tell the rest of the world when I’m ready. I just trusted them with my biggest secret.